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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 09:00 pm
Read This Blender Blunder Is Open And Shut
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch a woman walk up, take a sealed blender off the shelf, tear the tape, pull it out of the box, inspect it, and then wander over to the counter holding it.
Customer: "Hi. This one’s already open, so you should give me a discount."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 08:00 pmRead Wheel-y Petty
Me: "Hey, can I borrow your floor jack? My tire blew; I’m stuck in the lot."
Manager: "No. We don’t do that."
Me: "Every [Auto Shop] I’ve ever been to has one."
Manager: *Shrugs.* "Not my problem."
Read Wheel-y Petty
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 07:00 pmRead Choose Kindness In Every Language
Customer: "Is this all you’ve got? Every single one of these has Chinese or Asian or whatever all over them!"
Me: "Some of the new line does have Asian calligraphy, yes; it’s popular right now."
Customer: "My kids are American, and I don’t want them walking around wearing… whatever this says. It could say 'devil worshiper' for all I know!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 06:05 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 05:55 pmRead There Are Autocorrects, And Then There Is THE Autocorrect
It’s a slow afternoon, and a few of us are sitting in the break room swapping "job hunting fails."
[Coworker #1] talks about sending a résumé with the wrong company name on it. [Coworker #2] says she once forgot to attach her cover letter… twice. Then my friend chimes in.
Friend: "Those are all boring. I win. Hands down."
Read There Are Autocorrects, And Then There Is THE Autocorrect
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 05:45 pmRead Breaking And Entering? No, Break And Exiting!
She gestures to her cart, loaded and brimming.
Me: "You… want me to ring you up? Out here? In my car?"
Customer: "Yes! You’re the only one I trust to not bruise my avocados."
Me: "Did… you already pay for that stuff?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 05:00 pmRead Stay In Your (Checkout) Lane
Customer #2: "Ugh. Fake vegans. You people just want attention."
Customer #1: *Turning around.* "Uh, I've never once claimed to be vegan. I'm just buying food that works for me."
Customer #2: "No, you’re making it harder for real vegans. You’re a poser."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 04:00 pmRead Drawer-ing the Wrong Kind of Attention
The managers hate making the (admittedly long) trek to the gas station just to count down our drawers in the middle of their other tasks, so they decide the gas station attendants will walk the overly full cash drawers into the store at the end of their shift, wait for the deposit to be made, then walk the drawers back to the gas station.
Me: "This is a bad, BAD idea."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 03:00 pmRead Lid and Let Live
Woman: "Hey, give me my drink!"
Barista: "Ma'am, are you [My Name]?"
Woman: "I ordered a latte!"
Barista: "Ma'am, I think this is hers." *Points to me.*
Read Lid and Let Live
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 02:30 pmRead Shattered Dreams
My sister and I are doing the dishes. I'm drying a heavy ceramic bowl when it slips a little in my hands. I catch it just in time.
Me: "Whoa! That was close!"
Mom: *Casual as anything.* "Oh, wouldn’t matter. That thing wouldn’t break."
Read Shattered Dreams
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 01:30 pmRead He Took It In Stride
We get into an elevator. A man on crutches joins us, one pant leg neatly folded where his leg used to be. My son’s eyes go wide. He speaks to me in a 'stage whisper' that is somehow louder than his normal voice.
Son: "Mom… what happened to his leg?!"
Read He Took It In Stride
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 01:00 pmRead Not Exactly Written In The Stars
Customer: "Do you believe in astrology?"
Me: "My birthday is in five days. What sign does that make me?"
Customer: "Gemini."
Me: "Correct! So that means that obviously the answer to your question is no."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 12:30 pm
It was the late 1990s. I was, at the time, teaching physics and computer science. Things were changing fast, and the cultural anchors I grew up with became unfamiliar to the students very quickly. Among them were the ads in the back of comic books for things like X-ray specs, ant farms, and… sea monkeys. So, I decided to bring some Cold War culture to my students. Sea monkeys were just the trick.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 12:15 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 12:00 pmRead Guess You Called It
Nurse: "How did you get my cell phone number? I didn’t give you my cell."
Me: "Well… you gave me a number and I confirmed it with you on the previous call."
Nurse: "Yes but this is my cell phone number. Not my work phone number!"
Read Guess You Called It
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 11:45 am(This occurred when I was on a school environmental science trip with my chemistry teacher, a math teacher, and about twenty students in my grade. We’re currently staying at a nice villa at a resort about an hour and a half’s drive from Orlando.) Me: This is a lot nicer than I expected. Student # […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 11:30 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 11:30 amMy sister is traditional and proscriptive regarding gender roles. I am trans. She pretends I never told her, but I suspect that she might be suspicious of me always now. We live on opposite sides of the country. This happens over email, but I don’t remember which child and gender this was for. The fluff […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-08-14 11:00 am