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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 10:00 pm
Enter [New Hire]. Three days after he's hired, he comes into the break room and sees [Coworker #1] munching on his third nugget and sipping at his shake. Without a word to ANYONE - and before any of us can realize what's happening - he grabs the nugget box and fry cup, walks over to the nearest garbage can, and UPENDS THEM BOTH.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 09:30 pmRead Rage Rover
Then a black Range Rover came screaming up in the left lane at WAY over the speed limit, much faster than the Charger was going. It slammed on the brakes, parked itself maybe a foot behind the Charger's rear bumper, then laid on the horn.
Read Rage Rover
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 09:00 pmRead No Boost, Just Blast
Customer: "What's good?"
I hate this open question because we have twenty-four base smoothies, plus about a dozen "boosts" you can add that enhance flavors or add extra health benefits.
Me: "Well, did you want any specific flavor range? Sweet? Tart? Creamy? Fruity?"
Customer: "All seems a bit green and hippie to me. What are those boost things?"
Read No Boost, Just Blast
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 08:00 pmRead Excel-lence Denied
Among my duties around the office at a former job, I helped to streamline the various spreadsheets that are used by different departments. Most of them really should have been converted into proper databases, but that was an 'unnecessary complication', so I had to make do with what the bosses would sign off on.
Read Excel-lence Denied
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 07:00 pmRead Stringing Us Along
Customer: "Look at what you did to my necklace! You were supposed to fix it, but you made it worse! You need to fix it, and I want my money back!"
Me: "We did fix it. It was in one piece when it left the store last time. You were even wearing it. What happened?"
Customer: "You gave it to me like this! You dirty thieves thought I wouldn't notice! You probably think I'm stupid!"
Read Stringing Us Along
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 05:55 pmRead Putting The Con Into Contract
Me: "I was told you are accusing my sales rep of forging your signature on the renewal?"
Client: "Yes, I never agreed to pay that much. I never would have. I told him to give me a discount, and I wanted to see it in writing before I signed."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 05:45 pmRead Closed Encounters
The store is closed with a capital 'C'. The lights are off, the music has stopped, the back areas have been roped off, and the doors are locked.
Me: "Hey, [Coworker], I think there's a customer back there still."
Coworker: *Squinting.* "Oh my God! You're right! He's shopping using his phone's flashlight! He didn't get the hint!"
Read Closed Encounters
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 05:00 pm
I work in a baby supply store. A customer is talking to me, but has a crying baby in their stroller. She gives the baby a bottle of brown liquid.
Me: "What’s that?"
Customer: "Oh, it’s Coke."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 04:00 pmRead So Loud With That Quiet Virtue
We're in a meeting discussing some project work.
Coworker: "I finished [piece of work], but my team did a lot of the legwork, so I'll be modest and give them some of the credit."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 03:00 pmRead Roll Reversal
I work in a stationery store. A customer comes over with a packing tape dispenser from our packing products section.
Customer: "I need this, but for left-handed people."
Me: "Could you repeat that?"
Read Roll Reversal
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 02:30 pmRead Mom’s Exit Strategy
My mom, like most parents, got tired of the "Are we there yet?" "No." "Are we there yet?" conversation. One day, it unexpectedly went:
Us: "Are we there yet?"
Mom: "No."
Read Mom’s Exit Strategy
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 01:30 pmRead Ice Cream Cone of Silence, Please
We just got ice cream, and were eating it outside the shop when a random passerby looked at us.
Random Woman: "You know, eating that will make you fat."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 01:00 pmRead A Special Price For A Special Customer
A customer is glaring at some produce and then starts glaring at me.
Customer: "Twenty-five cents a pound? I can get them four pounds for a dollar at Kroger!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 12:00 pmRead Zero A Day Keeps The Nurse Away
Nurse: "Do you smoke?"
Me: "No."
Nurse: "It says here that you do."
Me: "It's about fifteen years out of date. I'm sure I've mentioned giving up since then."
Nurse: "Well, it says here you're a smoker."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 11:45 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 11:00 amRead A Self-Wipeout
Customer: "All these tables need to be wiped down. Those tables over there need to be wiped, and all these tables over here are dirty. Everything in here is dirty!"
Mind you, I was the only server for a fourteen-table section after lunch, and I was just trying to catch up on cleaning.
Me: "Okay, sir, let me wipe those for you."
So, I did.
Read A Self-Wipeout
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 10:00 amMy wife and I took our 11 year old son to see a performance of Hamlet. He had been to plays before, but this was his first experience with Shakespeare. I wondered if he was having any difficulties with the language. At the start of the intermission: Me: [Son] do you understand what’s going on? […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-29 09:00 amRead Might Be On Hold For A While…
This guy (early twenties, I assume) calls from his work phone in because he lost his private phone in a taxi a week earlier.