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notalwaysright_feedRead Heavy Lies the Bag That Packs Itself
She finishes packing and stands there for a moment, then she tries to lift the bag.
Customer: "YOU MADE IT TOO HEAVY!"
Me: "…Ma’am, I never touched your bag. You did all the packing."
notalwaysright_feedRead Sizing Up This Customer In A Snap
Customer: "You need to get me this pair of pants in size—"
Me: "—Haha, no. I am alone, I have a line, you're right next to it, you get it..."
notalwaysright_feed
I made a mistake one day that I kept doing for three days because a formula was off, making it look like we completed a million+ requests instead of a few thousand. Something I should have easily spotted, but if anyone had looked at the report, you would think they would point out that we are 859% over goal.
notalwaysright_feedRead This Customer Is Sole Destroying
Coworker #1: "She’s notorious. Tries on a bunch of shoes, never buys anything."
I laugh nervously and head back out.
The woman tries on a pair. Then another. And another. She starts building a pile.
notalwaysright_feedRead Not A Formula For A Successful Meeting
Coworker: "I was driving on the motorway and there was this massive piece of lumber lying across the road! I had to steer like Senna!"
The room goes silent.
notalwaysright_feed
Customer #2: "Helloooo? The door’s locked. I need a milkshake!"
Me: "We’re closed. The freezers failed."
Customer #2: "Is the ice cream soft?"
Me: "It’s getting there!"
Customer #2: "Great! That makes milkshakes faster!"
notalwaysright_feedRead Our Vocabulary Isn’t Seeing Eye To Eye
Sales Assistant: "I think she needs glasses that are more symmetrical."
Me: "But... These are all symmetrical?"
Sales Assistant: "No, these ones are more symmetrical than those ones."
Me: *Absolutely baffled.* "They are all symmetrical? Aren't they?"
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ru_strugackienotalwaysright_feedRead H2-D’oh!, Part 14
Customer: "I'm looking for powdered water."
Me: "Uh… could you please repeat the question?"
Customer: *Now a bit annoyed.* "I'm looking for powdered water!"
Read H2-D’oh!, Part 14
notalwaysright_feedRead A Very Tight Response Time
I was out cycling on my day off. I'd left just before 7 AM, aiming to do about 60km. When I reached what was around my halfway point at 8 AM, I took a short break to enjoy the peace of the ocean, which was promptly interrupted by a call from my boss.
notalwaysright_feedRead No Box, No Basil
I’m in an aisle, restocking a shelf with one of those deep cardboard boxes full of individually wrapped items. I’m halfway through when a woman walks up behind me. Before I can even turn back around, she grabs the other end of the box, lifts it up, and dumps the entire contents onto the floor. Hundreds of little items scatter everywhere.
Read No Box, No Basil
notalwaysright_feed
Customer: "You should say you’re welcome! Saying ‘no problem’ implies I’m a problem!"
Me: "But it wasn’t a problem. I’m telling you it was no problem."
Customer: "Why would you tell me what something isn’t?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Wage Against The Machine, Part 2
Manager: "You always come into work tired. Customers pick up on the lack of energy, you know. Your work attitude does not match work expectations."
Me: "Yes, but it is matching work wages."
notalwaysright_feedRead Fast Food So Fast It’s Airborne
The customer screams something unintelligible, then throws a muffin at my head.
It bounces off me harmlessly, and I burst out laughing.
She gets even angrier and chucks her chips at me.
notalwaysright_feedRead Fuzzy Logic
Father: "You need to shave your legs."
Me: "Why?"
Father: "Because it's what you're supposed to do! Men don't like it!"
Me: "Okay, I'll start shaving when you do then."
Read Fuzzy Logic
notalwaysright_feed
Roommate: "I saw this really nice recipe online. I think I'm gonna make it for dinner."
My other roommate and I share a quick, worried glance.
Other Roommate: "Uh, [Roommate], do you need any help?"
notalwaysright_feed
I'm working part-time in a small grocery store while going to college full-time. Old people love grocery stores. They come in every day, sometimes just to walk around or talk to someone. Usually, it's no big deal, unless they’re horrible people.
notalwaysright_feedRead This Worksheet Is The Diablo
Our math teacher is ill, so we have an assistant covering. He hands out a worksheet pre-prepared by the teacher:
Assistant: "Wait, this can't be right."
Me: "What's wrong?"
Assistant: "This worksheet. It's all video games."
notalwaysright_feedI work at a museum that issues free memberships to qualifying families that wouldn’t be able to afford them otherwise. The free membership comes in the form of a paper voucher that has to be physically redeemed at the museum. I got an email form once such recipient: Recipient: Hello! We just got a voucher […]
notalwaysright_feed - Heavy Lies the Bag That Packs Itselfnotalwaysright_feed - Sizing Up This Customer In A Snapnotalwaysright_feed - Untitled Goose Reportnotalwaysright_feed - This Customer Is Sole Destroyingnotalwaysright_feed - Not A Formula For A Successful Meetingnotalwaysright_feed - Multiple Brain Freezesnotalwaysright_feed - Our Vocabulary Isn’t Seeing Eye To Eyesilent_gluk in ru_strugackie - Цурэновский сонетnotalwaysright_feed - H2-D’oh!, Part 14notalwaysright_feed - A Very Tight Response Timenotalwaysright_feed - No Box, No Basilnotalwaysright_feed - No Problem Until It Isnotalwaysright_feed - Wage Against The Machine, Part 2notalwaysright_feed - Fast Food So Fast It’s Airbornenotalwaysright_feed - Fuzzy Logicnotalwaysright_feed - Ah, The Taste Of Hubrisnotalwaysright_feed - The Sprout Of All Evilnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - This Worksheet Is The Diablonotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)timeasmymeasure
